Christmas Day is over. But Christmas isn’t over until after New Year’s Day in Jersey.
Before Christmas Day we tried to do a KYC on the Christmas baby now a 30/31 year old grown man. (Under the Money Laundering (Jersey) Order 2008 all financial services businesses need to undertake KYC (know your customer) due diligence procedures every time a new business relationship is established.)
After Christmas that attractive business relationship with Jesus Christ has been duly established – despite the most-unusual business plan produced by him under which the sole use of the new account would be to benefit others and not himself. See bold print above.
Months have passed and Jesus of Nazareth has been seeking to introduce new accounts to the Bank. He has been providing references through his commendation of people around him. And ... and he has been providing real insight into serious problems in some of the Bank’s existing customers. This is a real problem to the Compliance Division. Should Suspicious Transaction Reports be made to the authorities?
Which Bank customers are these?
· Peter, one of the Bank’s entrepreneurs in the fishing industry and a key follower of Jesus, was even called “Satan” by Jesus of Nazareth because Peter told him to forget this idea of dying for others – it wasn’t attractive to folk.
· A rich young man, Premier Banking Client, son of a 1(1)(k) whose dad had died. He was anxious about “having” in the life after death. But he did not fit into Jesus’ way of “giving all”, wanted to “keep it all” and didn’t wait to ask for help from Jesus so as to start to become a giver. Even though Jesus loved him.
· Several of the Bank’s trust company clients. Their trusts, the revocable “Corban” trusts, were criticized by Jesus because they led to one of the Ten Commandments (‘honour your father and mother’) being breached – with consequent suffering because settlors didn’t have to support their parents in old age. These Bank customers got very angry indeed. And the Bank has billions of pounds from some of these big companies.
On reflection, even though Jesus finds them wanting, the Bank can’t possibly lose any of these customers.
But who is being recommended by the first-Christmas-born Jesus? Well –
· A desperate man whose son was riddled with evil and was repeatedly self-destructive. When the man said to Jesus, “Lord, I believe, help my unbelief.” Jesus said that this prayer was superb – and was the only thing that could possibly have helped the boy – and it did.
· A woman whose doctor’s bills had impoverished her and who was still unpleasantly ill with continuous haemorrhaging but who knew that Jesus has the intrinsic worth to help her. She was right.
· A widow in Jerusalem who, having nothing whatsoever to support her, placed her two 50p coins into the poor box at the Temple to benefit others. Jesus said she put in more that everyone else combined.
These don’t have sufficient assets to be desirable Bank customers.